Wedding Traditions Worth Breaking
The wedding industry is, well, interesting. I love being a part of it with every fiber of my being. The people who invest their time to make the most special days happen are the most passionate and generous people I know. But, like most things in life, a fresh new approach is welcomed. In the wedding industry, there are a few traditions I believe need an update.
Walking down the aisle with just your father
This tradition stems from the idea that your father is granting you permission to go from his family to your new spouse’s family...which in theory is a man and you are a woman. A couple things here worth noting. First, my mom was a major part of my upbringing and if I actually need anyone’s permission to get married, it’s my mom over my dad… sorry Wan-yay. She is just as much a part of my life as my dad and why overlook her recognition. Secondly, not every family has a father or a male figure so why try to assume that this role needs to be filled.
Not seeing the bride before the wedding
Wedding day timelines are always made and always broken. Parts of the day are just going to go longer such as the best man speech or the pastor’s sermon. So instead of trying to cram bridal party photos in the hour between your ceremony and reception, opt for a first look. I promise, your SO will still tear up when they see you walk down the aisle, because that moment is as real as it gets. First looks give you the chance to get out all your nerves and get those important family photos without feeling too rushed for time.
Father/Daughter & Mother/Son Dance
Similar to walking down the aisle, why leave one of your parents to continuously watch these special moments and never being part of them. Try inviting both of your parents up to dance with you for half of the song. This also perpetuates the idea of hetero-normative coupling. Say your parents are both males or both females, well now what? This is supposed to be a moment to showcase a close family relationship, and instead of requiring it be a male figure or female figure, let’s assume it’s just a close member of the family.
Gender specific wedding parties
LOL catching on to a theme here? Weddings are a time to celebrate love with the people you love. At every stage of my life, there has been a male friend I would 100% put in my wedding party. Why can’t he stand on my side? If your brother really is your go-to pal, make him the man of honor! Why not? I promise you the Wedding Gods will not spite you.
Bride’s parents pay for the wedding
If there is anything more false in the wedding industry, it is about who pays for the wedding. I mean, raise your hand if you followed these “traditions” about payment for the wedding. Many couples save for over a year so they, too, can contribute. Sometimes, couples opt not to have their parents pay because of some assumptions and stipulations put with planning and using money that is not theirs. Sometimes, a wedding budget just isn’t available from parental units. Gosh, some people even take out loans to make it all work, please plan financially responsibly folks. Take a look at this downloadable hidden wedding expenses sheet we made, just so this doesn't become a problem!
No matter the case, this wedding day is for you and your significant other. It is a celebration of your love and those who support you. It should be a day for everyone to enjoy. Do what feels comfortable and right. If that means sticking to traditions, go for it! But don’t feel like you are constrained by these, go and make the day what you want it to be!